Monday, July 27, 2009
Potential participant: I don't have cancer
Investigator : Is your name so and so?
Potential participant: Yes
Investigator: Our records say you have been diagnosed with cancer 4 months ago
Potential participant : I don't have cancer
Investigator : We have your medical records and your scheduled appointments with oncologists. We are aware that you discussed treatment options with your oncologist.
Potential participant: I don't have cancer !
Investigator : We know you have cancer
Potential participant: It's not me, it's my twin brother. He looks like me.
Investigator : CLICK
Investigator to us : He has a twin of the same name. They are probably conjoined twins, joint from waist down I suppose.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Epidemiologist : One good example is: Vaccination
Parent (in disbelief) : What are you talking about? I don't see any Public Health people out there handing us vaccination !
BTW, if you are such a parent, please understand that Public Health does the most for vaccination
Investigator on the phone : Hi, I am doing this study, and I would like to talk to you about your Rectal cancer
Participant : I don't have rectal cancer. I have Colo-rectal cancer
Investigator on the phone : Yes, it's the same. Your cancer is in your rectum.
Participant (screams) : I have cancer in my Ass?
If you are wondering how the participant didn't notice, the rectal cancer was diagnosed during a routine screening.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Also, I would like to do something about the DAMN Global warming.
A few months ago, I was required to google some quotes or slogans we could use to promote some local 'Green' events.
I got plenty, some of them were usable. Some of them were plain whack.
I had only one rule to select a usable quote : If you have a clever or sarcastic comeback to any of these quotes, don't us 'em.
Read on to see what I mean.
Note: These are the ones I did NOT select. For obvious reasons.
"Only after the last tree has been cut down…the last river has been poisoned…the last fish caught, only then will you find that money cannot be eaten."
- Cree Indian Prophesy
But you can eat each other.
With the Obesity epidemic , there's plenty to eat......
"The frog does not drink up the pond in which he lives."
- Native American Proverb
No, he pees and moves on to the next pond.
And then Andrew Zimmern feasts on his legs.
"When you plant a tree, never plant only one. Plant three -- one for shade,
one for fruit, one for beauty."
Plant one for the squirrels too. And the chipmunks. And the Cuckoos.
While you are at it, plant one for thy neighbor.
~Alan M. Eddison
Apology not accepted.
Only recycling will do.
I think the environment should be put in the category of our national security. Defense of our resources is just as important as defense abroad. Otherwise what is there to defend? ~Robert Redford, Yosemite National Park dedication, 1985
Electronic medical records?
Your grandchildren will likely find it incredible - or even sinful - that you burned up a gallon of gasoline to fetch a pack of cigarettes! ~Paul MacCready, Jr.
Your grandchildren will also be upset that you passed on THAT faulty gene
These two are some of the most retarded out there:
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
"Water and air, the two essential fluids on which all life depends, have become global garbage cans."
Note: Most of these comebacks are mine. They are sarcastic. And they are not meant to offend anyone.
Andrew Zimmern is the host of Bizarre Foods on the Travel Channel. He eats a bunch of things.
And I do not support Cannibalism.
You don't need to move around to receive them or get them faxed.They are available all the time (unless the server crashes) and they are updated in an instant. And you get everything under their file tabs, including their lab results and their next scheduled appointments.
Plus it saves a lot of Paper. Live Green. Save Trees. Save the squirrels.
Now, you need to go through proper training and obtain permission to view these records (and for perfectly legal reasons). It's not accessible publicly, unless some retard hacker (who thinks it's fun to invade privacy) accesses this information and sells it or releases it.
I hope such Hackers get STDs. With plenty of sores and blisters.
Anyway, last year, part of my job was to go through electronic medical records (with permission of course).
And below are some of the actual notes I noticed in some of these records:
Record 1: Patient is a male, aged 27 , from so and so place. Patient has a sister and mother who live with him.
Patient also has a 24 year old son.
Record 2: Patient has had a hysterectomy in 2005.
HE also suffers from Type II Diabetes.
Note: A hysterectomy is an operation to remove a woman's uterus (womb)
Visit this website to join the This Is Public Health Campaign.
Why you should attempt to join it or at least spread the word around?
As the website says:
"Most people don't understand what public health is, much less how it impacts their daily lives. The “This Is Public Health” campaign was designed by ASPH to let people know that public health affects them on a daily basis and that we are only as healthy as the world we live in."
Public Health does a lot for the general public, and they are not even aware of what we do for them. Therefore, Appreciation of our hard work is non-existent.
PH aids in most of the researches, investigative work like outbreak investigation, surveillance, inspection, spreading awareness, educating people, facilitating vaccination, etc.
We do a lot, and we need our share of respect and appreciation. Which will be attained in the next few decades.
For now, just make the general public aware of What PH does for them and how indeed we have a Huge (...ok moderate amount of..) Impact on their lives.
The campaign is a national effort and you just need to email them at email@example.com , ask them for a couple of "This is Public Health" stickers. Stick them to a place where there are examples of PH in action, take some pictures and upload them to their Flickr website.
I just emailed them for a bunch, and if you see an over-zealous person sticking red stickers and taking pictures of it....it's just me. Or your local Epidemiologist.
Read some blogs where people rant about their jobs, families, customers, patients, etc...
As a budding epidemiologist, I often need to vent or rant or just plain relate my experiences regarding Medicine and Public Health. Sometimes it's humorous , sometimes it's sad.
We have several blogs on the subject of Public Health and Epidemiology, most of them are updated with news and other significant articles.
This blog is a Rant-Blog.
And in a way, it's meant to entertain and educate you.
Hope you enjoy the posts on this blog !